Sunday, March 11, 2007

Creative Writing: Labyrinth of Mind

Here is a first-draft poem I wrote this weekend. Note the phrase "first draft."
Labyrinth of Mind

Within the labyrinth of mind
There are dead ends
Places where your
thoughts refuse to take you
Or where you refuse to take your thoughts.
And then there are familiar paths
The easy
The well trodden.
But those don’t take you anywhere either
Just over and over through the same circles
Or circuits
Or circus.
The trick is breaking through
Before you break down.
These borders must not contain you.
They’re after all just the lines you drew
To map the world in earlier days.
And they were drawn in pencil after all.
And maps can be recharted after all
Must be recharted.
Do stop telling yourself the same stories.
You are boring and well trodden.

5 comments:

Erin said...

Oh, I really really like this! I know how it feels... :)

Stidmama said...

This is inspired! Thanks for sharing it. Not sure what you would change -- when it's done it might be interesting to see the two versions side by side...

dshep said...

Insightful self-expression. I read it a few times. It seems that awareness might bring you closer to exploration. (enable you?)

Nancy said...

Thanks Erin and dshep. Stidmama, I think it's a little too much "tell" and not enough "show" so I'd probably want to search for a bit more imagery to replace some of the plain expressions.

There are bits I like -- Circles, circuits, circus works pretty well, and the repetition of after all was something I liked as soon as I wrote it. So the sound and cadence feels okay, but again, just a little too un-subtle for my taste.

featherbee said...

I was just going to post that I loved how the circles, circuits, circus bit flowed!