Sunday, September 10, 2006

Pear-Hating, a Follow-up

An update to the pear battles, recorded faithfully, this 10th day of September, 2006

Small boy in front of my house:
"It says free pears! Look! The sign says free pears! They're free!"

Me, inside the house, thinking:
"Please, please take the pears. Take them all away. Pick more. I'll get the ladder."

Two children outside my house:
Laughter, giggling, indecipherable chatter. This goes on for a while.

Me, inside the house, thinking:
"What is so amusing, and are they still in front of my house? Didn't they take the pears yet?"

So I walk to my front door, and see two children sitting on my front steps next to the box of pears. The boy is about 4, the girl 5 or 6. The boy, cute as a button, is putting a pear back in the box. The pear has two bites taken out of it.

Me, actually thinking I am smarter than the 4-year-old:
"Oh, don't put it back! Please throw the pear away if you don't want to finish it."

Me, taking a closer look at the 20 pears in the box:
"Oh no! You took bites out of all the pears?"

Small boy, picking up another pear and grinning:
"Not yet!"

(I never remember to grab my camera at the most opportune moments....)

Me, in despair:
"No! Please don't eat that pear!"

Small boy, in guilt-inducing voice of the wrongfully accused:
"I'm sorry."

Me, finally growing a sense of humor:
"That's okay. Let me just get a plastic bag so we can throw those away."

"He started it."

16 of the pears went in the trash. I let the each child take one, with strict instructions to take them away. I took one of the remaining pears, and now my box of free pears has become a box of free pear.

PS: And did I mention wasps? Not just bees and yellow-jackets, but wasps, and maybe even hornets. And odeur de poire putréfiée. The street cleaner comes tomorrow, unless it rains. Please God hold the rain off for 24 hours.


featherbee said...

LOL! What a little stinker!

Jen Robinson said...

That is hilarious! And just shows that one should always keep a camera handy, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Make pear pies!
Great reading. I can see the children.