Sunday, September 10, 2006

Pear-Hating, a Follow-up

An update to the pear battles, recorded faithfully, this 10th day of September, 2006

Small boy in front of my house:
"It says free pears! Look! The sign says free pears! They're free!"

Me, inside the house, thinking:
"Please, please take the pears. Take them all away. Pick more. I'll get the ladder."

Two children outside my house:
Laughter, giggling, indecipherable chatter. This goes on for a while.

Me, inside the house, thinking:
"What is so amusing, and are they still in front of my house? Didn't they take the pears yet?"

So I walk to my front door, and see two children sitting on my front steps next to the box of pears. The boy is about 4, the girl 5 or 6. The boy, cute as a button, is putting a pear back in the box. The pear has two bites taken out of it.

Me, actually thinking I am smarter than the 4-year-old:
"Oh, don't put it back! Please throw the pear away if you don't want to finish it."

Me, taking a closer look at the 20 pears in the box:
"Oh no! You took bites out of all the pears?"

Small boy, picking up another pear and grinning:
"Not yet!"

(I never remember to grab my camera at the most opportune moments....)

Me, in despair:
"No! Please don't eat that pear!"

Small boy, in guilt-inducing voice of the wrongfully accused:
"I'm sorry."

Me, finally growing a sense of humor:
"That's okay. Let me just get a plastic bag so we can throw those away."

Girl:
"He started it."

16 of the pears went in the trash. I let the each child take one, with strict instructions to take them away. I took one of the remaining pears, and now my box of free pears has become a box of free pear.

PS: And did I mention wasps? Not just bees and yellow-jackets, but wasps, and maybe even hornets. And odeur de poire putréfiée. The street cleaner comes tomorrow, unless it rains. Please God hold the rain off for 24 hours.

3 comments:

featherbee said...

LOL! What a little stinker!

Jen Robinson said...

That is hilarious! And just shows that one should always keep a camera handy, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Make pear pies!
Great reading. I can see the children.
Fran